Stardust: Thanks. I can't borrow someone's pet as that would break the terms of my lease. I have considered spending the night at my parents place but right at the moment that doesn't really work for me. The main reason for that is that my parents are currently living in the granny flat and my sister and her family residing in the main house. Even though my sister and family are away I'm not comfortable sleeping in the house, and there's no where for me to sleep in the flat.
Gem: Thank you for your insight and advice.
The conference was really good. Although I came back from it extremely exhausted, I also came back with a head full of ideas. I met quite a large number of people with similar illnesses and backgrounds, and actually felt like I could let my guard down whilst among them. I even felt comfortable enough to tell them that it was my birthday yesterday. One of the people I told announced it to a workshop that I was part of, but had been intending to announce it to the whole group. I'm quite thankful that she didn't. The person closest to me actually went to the kitchen and got a candle and matches and put it into a piece of cake.
I had a long walk several times a day from my dorm room to the main area of the conference which had quite a bit of hill in it. In the dorm I was in I shared a 4 bed room with one other person, but it didn't feel overly constricted. As a matter of fact, the person I was sharing with I had met before at the new Clubhouse training in Brisbane. I would get up in the morning and go for coffee and a shower and when I walked back into the room she'd ask me what time it was and then decide whether or not to go back to sleep for a bit longer. My time in the dorms was really useful however as we would all sit and chat in the lounge rooms about life, the universe and everything and could get input for our individual situations from people who have been through similar events in a face-to-face manner.
The best part of the whole conference for me was meeting someone I could totally relate to, and she lives in Brisbane. I got along with her so well that I'm intending to meet up with her again when I'm next heading down for ECT. I'm also maintaining contact with several other people both from previous hospitalisations and the conference. My hope is that I will be able to meet up with some of them at one time or another for coffee, or just as an excuse to leave the hospital with someone that I know. It's always so lonely when you're in hospital 1000 miles from home.
The weather in Toowoomba was ... weird. The day that we arrived, after getting lost on the drive out there and arriving later than expected, was warm. I felt bad about not bringing my swimmers for the pool party that was due to happen the next night. We also missed dinner and had to stop off at a service station that was also a McDonalds to get some food. We did arrive however, and had a good time. On Monday the weather was warm until mid-afternoon when we had both rain and hail. By the time of the pool party the weather was cold and I was glad I had brought more warm clothes. I needed the warm clothes the whole rest of the conference but was still feeling as if I was freezing. Mind you, when we headed back to Brisbane I felt severely overdressed, and it was worse when I got home.
This morning I saw my psychiatrist and talked to him about the conference. I managed to make him interested in the Clubhouse project and he intends to visit one of the Clubhouses in Brisbane on one of his many trips down there. We also talked about the bug hallucinations that mimic withdrawal symptoms. We've decided to cut out one of the largactil (chlorpromazine) tablets - specifically the midday dose - and move the morning dose to mid-morning instead of breakfast time. We talked about the seroquel (quetiapine) and my and my fiancée's intention to begin trying for a child once I've had my shoulder operation. He is quite happy with the idea and is intending not to touch my psych meds until I've been through the surgery and the rehabilitation. He also raised the idea of psychotherapy in relation to my memories that are returning and we had a full and profitable discussion.
All in all, things aren't too bad right now. I just miss my fiancée who, at this point, is due back on Tuesday night. I really can't wait. At least I'm at home and sleeping in my own bed.
|