Thank you so much for your support and encouragement :]
I think the part that is hardest for me is allowing myself to take those steps. I want so badly to move on and out of the hole I've been put in, and then got stuck in, and am now making myself stay in. I'm sure it's partly fear but also thinking that I don't deserve more? Part of me knows better but it's not been enough. I've been spiraling down pretty hard pretty fast lately and it's terrifying me. I'm not sure how to make myself stop. I guess nobody will stop anything until he or she truly wants to do so... Typically once the bottom is reached. I don't want to go down there again, I guess that's why I'm here and asking for help :\
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