Even when we are aware of diagnosis and such it can be difficult to see it written down on paper as it can sometimes make things seem more 'real', so your reaction to the letter is perfectly understandable.
You say you think this is the best way to explain your self harming behaviours and if that's the case and citing this diagnosis makes it easier for you to explain your behaviour then I would feel free to use it, however do be wary of setting to much store by a diagnosis, everyone is different even those with similar problems, and it doesn't do to get too caught up in labelling yourself.
Being torn between wanting and not wanting to stop self harming is entirely understandable, it's been your coping mechanism, albeit a destructive one for a long time, and it can be really scary to try and take a step away from that and find new, healthier coping mechanisms. When self harm has been or is a big part of our lives it is understandable that we begin to wonder if this is a part of our personality, however personally I don't believe it is, it's just a maladaptive coping strategy certain people adopt, that hopefully with support and encouragement they will eventually no longer feel they need.
When we have had difficult experiences in life self harm can come to feel like a sort of life line, a way of controlling the uncontrollable, however in reality self harm quickly morphs so that without us realising it, the self harm is controlling us, not the other way around. It is understandable to want to shut out negative experiences that you have had, and no one can tell you that that is the right or wrong way to deal with past events, everyone copes differently, however if these difficult experiences are still coming back to bite you regardless of how much you try and push them away then I think it might be worth trying to work through the effects these events have had on you with a trained professional, so that you can lay them to rest once and for all.
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