Hi, I understand completely what you're going through and you're so brave to be doing this! I too recently went through the police process, however the investigation was unfortunately dropped as due to the historic nature of the case there wasn't enough evidence. He was spoken to on a number of occassions by the police and they made it clear to him that the believed me 100%, but it still feels like he's getting away with it. So I know how it feels to feel like you won't be believed.
Just remember that no matter what YOU know what happened and so does he. And you've shown him that you're not going to keep quiet any longer. Whilst I was going through the process my officer mentioned on a number of occassions that CPS now are on the side of the victim, they believe you, they wouldn't be taking it forward if they didn't, why would you put yourself trough this if it wasn't true? I know its really scary, but it will be okay, you've already shown how strong you are for starting the process!
I was adamant I wouldn't want my family in the room also if we got as far as court as I knew I could not recount it in front of them, I didn't want them to know. As you being the main person in all of this, you should be able to speak to the officer you have most contact with about it who I'm sure would be able to help you, theyll do what they can to make it easier for you. Have you tried explaining to your family it'll be easier for you if they're not in the room? They could always sit in a side room waiting for you.
It will be okay, I often feel like that too, the flasbacks are so bad and I'm constantly scared, but just remember you're making a huge step towards moving on. If you ever want to talk to need someone to listen, pm me anytime
xx
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