Firstly I am so sorry you have struggled so badly with an ED. it sounds like you have tried really hard to get better and that is really admirable and inspirational. You should be proud of your self.
Secondly, you are right that because you have BPD you are more likely to struggle when a relationship is a bit rocky. However I think I should reassure you that your worries are quite normal and I know I or anyone else I know who don't have BPD would feel similarly. Especially with the distrust. You have reason to feel that way so try not to beat yourself up and blame yourself. Your partner has do something bad and having extreme feeling about this is understandable.
Communication is always good in realtionships, mental illness or not. Make sure you speak to your partner about this and let her know your worries. She can't support you/ work with you if she does not know what's going on for you.
All the best honey x
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