snailonvalium - I know it doesn't automatically bar you, but mine is too bad apparently after consideration. I had a place to do nurse training which was withdrawn after they had looked into it. Previous to my application I had done care work although I have since found it very hard to get this work because everyone is clamping down on criminal records so much. I knew I wanted to be a nurse since I was in school so I do know the ins and outs of applying, and did all relevant work experience etc - like I said passed with flying colours on all that, but my criminal record combined with MH record was just that bit too bad.
I often feel like no-one in the world understands my problems, no-one seems to have expereinced the same things, and people offer advice but it is always stuff I have already thought of and tried, not like I give up at the first hurdle. Im sorry for being here or whatever I'm just so frightened and so very very alone. Thanks for being kind though.
Wendy - I have been as polite as possible in my posts and it seems like you are really struggling as I'm guessing you feel people have assumed you're fine when you're not.
I never once said you were not hurting, or feeling suicidal urges, or anything else. I pointed out that people used to be like that with me (still are to some degree cos I try so hard to keep it hidden) so i do know the feeling. However as I can no longer hold down a job I am also aware that things are worse for me now. Yes, I felt suicidal and other awful things back then, but now my daily functioning is worse, and the suicidal urges are always lurking much closer as well as things like dissociating from reality when very bad. I guess dissociation might be preferable to feeling things but it is not good for employment.
Please remember my original post was expressing surprise that the CMHT would have enough sense to see that someone still needs help even if they can work. I dont have a high opinion of the CMHT! Round here they seem to assess whether to help someone or not based on how well they function in daily life. Having a job - round here at least - would in their book probably count against getting help. I never ever said I agreed with this - just that that's what I thought happened everywhere.
I believe that you are really hurting and deserve help. I'm really sorry if my posts triggered something for you. But if you read over them you will see I was criticising the people who think "oh, they work, they're fine" not agreeing with them! What I find mind-boggling is the weird and wonderful ways CMHT's have of deciding who they will treat.
And it breaks me up inside wondering why they won't treat me.
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