When I read this, I didn't think it was a plea for sympathy.
I truly feel for you. It sounds like you are having a very difficult time and have a lot going on for you.
It also sounds as if you have feel you have a good and strong character. That is something to hold on to and nobody can take that away from you. We all make mistakes sometimes and at some points in our lives, we will make more mistakes than we normally would, perhaps due to illness or other life circumstances.
Things can and do change though.
I hope you will be able to look at this thread for support if that is what you want :)
Take care.
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