I can really relate to your post. I've also had long admissions and been told how bad things were for me but i cannot really make sense of it. I also have a new cpn who has not seen me unwell. I find i dwell on what's gone on. I have access to my GP records and therefore have got to read each discharge summary from my IP spells. I can't say it helped, in fact it made me dwell all the more, but it did give me some clarification and also reminded me that things were very bad and that i need to do everything i can so that it doesn't happen again. Perhaps you could speak to your GP about records access?
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