[Rilic]

I had a really bad nightmare just under two weeks ago, Tuesday night, where by the time I realised I was awake, I had a razor against my wrist, and I ended up being horribly ill and spent the rest of the night camped out in the bath with the lights on.
Since then, I've clocked up between five and a half to six hours sleep, only getting to sleep during the day, and each time I manage to get to sleep, it's no longer than twenty minutes before I'm waking up again, and then I'm awake and don't want to even try again.

Yesterday, I passed out twice. Once at about 11 p.m. in the "side alley" leading to my friend's house that I'd been checking was empty because I'd heard someone talking there, and again at 4 a.m. (okay, so technically today) where I think I hit the coffee table on the way down because my head was killing me and I couldn't move for a while, and today on the coach home at about 3 p.m. I didn't even get the shivering chill and spinning way too fast you can't see straight feeling, I just opened my eyes to someone shaking me.

I have insomnia anyway, but this is different, because when I do eventually get tired, I try to sleep. But my eyes have been burning the last few days because I don't even want to close them for too long. I still feel weak and I can feel myself shaking. My friend had pointed out a few times that she could see I was shaking all over. I think I worried her too much, because I would completely blank out for a few minutes, or longer, whether we were watching TV, or out walking, or even in the middle of a conversation.

Right now, I'm thinking I want to take this medication I have which will probably put me to sleep for half a frickin' day, but I feel absolutely sick about it.