I'm sorry you're struggling so much tonight. Is there anything causing you to feel so bad? What makes you think you deserve to hurt yourself? I don't think that anyone deserves that. Sometimes, even if it's difficult, the most helpful thing can be to treat yourself differently to how you feel - with care and compassion.
It's great that you're trying to distract yourself. If you're still struggling, maybe you could have a look at the distraction list and work through some different ideas. I know it's really difficult, but I find that distractions work best if I can already accept that they aren't going to make the thoughts go away entirely, that yes it will be uncomfortable but they will ease and I don't have to act on them. Keep talking here, look after yourself.
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