Welcome to RYL. I'm sorry you're having such a bad time :(
You said you only have medication - have you been offered any other help? Would you go to your GP & say you need more help than just tablets? Or if you have a social worker then ask them (you mentioned social services)
I kind of know how you feel about having to get your head around the mess you've made. I had to go to a burns unit & was told I needed a graft - I was reluctant & it didn't need it in the end, but I've had a transfusion & told I could lose my hand & other such scary stuff. I guess you just have to concentrate on how you can move forward, rather than focus on what you've already done - can't change the past & all that!
What can you do during the day that distracts you? You said you can't really go out but do you have friends who could come over?
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