With my past experience involving self harm and therapists/psychs, they have never admitted me because of my self harm and the most they would do is want to see me the next week (I only did out-patient group therapy through my hospital when I was suicidal), but every doctor is different so the only way you'll find out is if you talk to them.
I can't really think of any other ways of receiving support in real life unless you give people the chance to try to help you which you will have to open up a bit more to the doctors and maybe even your family and/or friends. Yes, you may have had a bad experience with a therapist, but that doesn't mean all of them are the same. Unfortunately, people have to do things that they don't enjoy (going to doctors, talking about their feelings, ect.), but if it means that you have a chance to feel better then I say you should try everything you possibly can to get to a place in your life where you are feeling content with how things are going. Also, you mentioned that you don't want your Mom to know, why is that?
Anyways, I'm sorry if I rambled on. I really do hope things get better for you. Take care and stay safe :)
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