It sounds like things are really difficult for you right now, and these symptoms are very concerning, as mood swings and suicidal feelings are dangerous.
You seem to have some supports, such as your CM and whoever prescribed your medication, have you mentioned these concerns to them?
What happened after you came off the medication, have you tried any other medications since? What sort of support team do you have in place right now?
We can't tell you if you've got bipolar or not, but as you have experienced these mood swings and other unpleasant symptoms, its a good idea to talk about it with a professional.
Take care x
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