Hi there,
I'm sorry you started harming again, but just remember it happens to us all, and as frustrating and depressing as it is, if you went without it for 9 months before, you can go without it for 9 months again, and more. You don't need SI, and you've proved that.
I'm sorry that your girlfriend didn't understand - I can really relate to what you're saying there. If she doesn't listen when you talk, it might help to give her something in writing. There's a section of
Information for Family and Friends on here, you might want to print that out and show her. It could help her to understand.
I really hope things get better soon,
Ailsa xxx