With my mental health and self harm I've always felt like I'm faking and like if I really wanted too I could snap out of it at any time, just that I must not be trying hard enough to be well. I used to hide behind this excuse because if I pretended I wasn't trying then it meant I didn't have to acknowledge that I actually had a problem. But I was trying and I wasn't in control. Even with all the scars I didn't feel like I really had a problem because I chose to harm myself. Except for it was never as simple as that.
In the end all these thoughts aren't useful if you are going to use them to beat yourself up with. Only you will know if you are faking or not, but the chances are that if you can't just snap out of it, and you didn't decide to be like this then you aren't.
Although if you come to the conclusion that you aren't faking is difficult in itself, because then you have to acknowledge that you may need help.
Stay safe.
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