[xlaurenx]

I have the diagnosis of severe depression. When I have episodes of depression. I normally feel, quite tired, like things arent going to get any better. I often have images of sh that I have done which trigger me. Or I have images of suicidal spots near me. Alot of negative thoughts, If i dont have to do something I won't. Where I have to do things eg work, I just do it and hardly speak throughout it, everything seems like an effort. Feeling like I hate myself, like no one else has these problems that its all my fault , suicide feels like a strong option. Erm... Small things set me of crying, or just crying constantly, images/memories from the past flood back... Thats about it really.

When things were very bad, forget getting out of bed , having a shower or getting changed as I couldn't do it. Walking the dog, or having something to eat was out of the question as I didn't have the energy to eat much , all i did eat was chocolate and drink out of the bottle, coke, milk etc. Couldn't make a cuppa tea.. I also felt very numb and empty. I felt so numb I just needed something, just something to stop me feeling so numb. So when things were bad I could forget about all personal hygiene and other 'hard' things such as cleaning out the hamster, going to college, doing assignments, cleaning my room, getting changed etc.