Hmm yeah. I can relate a lot.
I have a diagnosis of Recurrent Depressive Disorder. What that actually looks like for me is that I have a baseline of lowish mood, sadness, low self esteem and anxiety, which can sometimes fall into episodes of what count as more of a 'clinical depression'. When I'm in an 'episode' everything just feels hopeless, too much effort, I'm exhausted, I cry a lot, I feel like I just can't cope, I have nightmares, I hurt myself, I lose my appetite, I can't handle being around people at all... the list could go on.
Thankfully my episodes tend to me much more time limited these days, due to therapy and medication and other supports. But from my teens into my mid 30s, I was more or less clinically depressed throughout - though wasn't in treatment or diagnosed at that point.
Not sure if that helps at all. :)
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