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Cryptic. · 19-06-2012, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snow White.

I agree with Anna and Amy, and also want to add that I think at some point, one needs to explore the reasons they self harm aka the 'positives' for them. It is only then that they can get an objective look from others going - 'okay, that may be a positive for you, but did you consider x y z consequences? What other ways can you achieve that perceived positive without harming yourself?'

Through looking at these real reasons why we self-harm, we can find a solution that is going to replace the use of self-injury and thus be a more likely candidate in helping us maintain recovery. It's more than just reading 'it felt good', it's about probing into why it felt good and exploring feelings and reasons in a mature way.

I think if your mindset is at a vulnerable state, whereby someone self-harming gives you 'permission' in your mind to self-harm, then I think it's best to stay off the boards discussing self-injury until you're a bit stronger in your convictions and able to challenge your thoughts, or look objectively at the situation.

And Eli, to clarify, I'm not bashing your thoughts as is the way of the internet. I'm just explaining my viewpoint, I understand yours may be different.

Completely agree.

Exploring why you find it so good and why it feels so good to self harm could be helpful because then you could, like you say, try and find other things that give you the same [or at least near close] relief that self harm does, but also explore the whys and hows and such, in general, learning more about yourself and your struggles and your mind/emotions, etc, just in general finding out more about yourself and why you self harm, even if it's not to recover, but to just in general discuss it and discover things about it for yourself.

I do agree with others where saying on this particular site it's a fine line on what is and isn't glamorizing, so maybe we could create some examples for people on what would be glamorizing, and then changing it into another way of saying it so it wouldn't be as such?
I'm not sure.

I'm not triggered easily, so I don't really have problems with reading things like people loving the blood, the gore, the deep wounds, the scars left behind, etc, but I think there is such a fine line on what is acceptable to say and what isn't, and what could be mistaken for being pro as such, and other people do get triggered easily and perhaps aren't prepared for what could be in a thread.

I think what you said is a good point though Aimee,

"I think at some point, one needs to explore the reasons they self harm aka the 'positives' for them. It is only then that they can get an objective look from others going - 'okay, that may be a positive for you, but did you consider x y z consequences? What other ways can you achieve that perceived positive without harming yourself?'

Through looking at these real reasons why we self-harm, we can find a solution that is going to replace the use of self-injury and thus be a more likely candidate in helping us maintain recovery. It's more than just reading 'it felt good', it's about probing into why it felt good and exploring feelings and reasons in a mature way. "

- All of this, I agree with 100%!!!

I think exploring both the negatives and the positives could be really useful, because that way, you can be logical about the negatives, and with the positives, you can try to find other ways to find these positives[healthier ways], and also be logical about them too, to explore why it is you want whatever it is self harm gives you.

I do think there should be more talk on the self harm board of people who are not recovering but do want to obviously discuss what's going on for them, right now, I see a lot "I'm about to relapse" "I've gone x days without self harm but it's about to go down the drain" "I feel like I'm gonna slip up", a lot of statements that indicate people who are actively trying to recover or are recovering, but not much from people who aren't recovering, and are struggling themselves...

People who aren't recovering though, do have different mindsets than those who are trying to recover - obviously.

So, maybe we could get the ball rolling somehow for people to feel more comfortable in being open about what's happening for them and about their self harm, even if they aren't actively recovering?

Maybe say what wouldn't be acceptable and glamorizing, and what would be, if people are going to explore the positives of self harming?

I'm sorry this is so longggg, but yeh, I do think we could be more lenient and more open with the self harm discussions and in general.

I could have just said that, but yeah, I like the long rambles haha.

19-06-2012, 09:52 AM	#44
Cryptic. If at first you don't succeed, try try try again. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: UK, Surrey I am currently:	Quote: Originally Posted by Snow White. I agree with Anna and Amy, and also want to add that I think at some point, one needs to explore the reasons they self harm aka the 'positives' for them. It is only then that they can get an objective look from others going - 'okay, that may be a positive for you, but did you consider x y z consequences? What other ways can you achieve that perceived positive without harming yourself?' Through looking at these real reasons why we self-harm, we can find a solution that is going to replace the use of self-injury and thus be a more likely candidate in helping us maintain recovery. It's more than just reading 'it felt good', it's about probing into why it felt good and exploring feelings and reasons in a mature way. I think if your mindset is at a vulnerable state, whereby someone self-harming gives you 'permission' in your mind to self-harm, then I think it's best to stay off the boards discussing self-injury until you're a bit stronger in your convictions and able to challenge your thoughts, or look objectively at the situation. And Eli, to clarify, I'm not bashing your thoughts as is the way of the internet. I'm just explaining my viewpoint, I understand yours may be different. Completely agree. Exploring why you find it so good and why it feels so good to self harm could be helpful because then you could, like you say, try and find other things that give you the same [or at least near close] relief that self harm does, but also explore the whys and hows and such, in general, learning more about yourself and your struggles and your mind/emotions, etc, just in general finding out more about yourself and why you self harm, even if it's not to recover, but to just in general discuss it and discover things about it for yourself. I do agree with others where saying on this particular site it's a fine line on what is and isn't glamorizing, so maybe we could create some examples for people on what would be glamorizing, and then changing it into another way of saying it so it wouldn't be as such? I'm not sure. I'm not triggered easily, so I don't really have problems with reading things like people loving the blood, the gore, the deep wounds, the scars left behind, etc, but I think there is such a fine line on what is acceptable to say and what isn't, and what could be mistaken for being pro as such, and other people do get triggered easily and perhaps aren't prepared for what could be in a thread. I think what you said is a good point though Aimee, "I think at some point, one needs to explore the reasons they self harm aka the 'positives' for them. It is only then that they can get an objective look from others going - 'okay, that may be a positive for you, but did you consider x y z consequences? What other ways can you achieve that perceived positive without harming yourself?' Through looking at these real reasons why we self-harm, we can find a solution that is going to replace the use of self-injury and thus be a more likely candidate in helping us maintain recovery. It's more than just reading 'it felt good', it's about probing into why it felt good and exploring feelings and reasons in a mature way. " - All of this, I agree with 100%!!! I think exploring both the negatives and the positives could be really useful, because that way, you can be logical about the negatives, and with the positives, you can try to find other ways to find these positives[healthier ways], and also be logical about them too, to explore why it is you want whatever it is self harm gives you. I do think there should be more talk on the self harm board of people who are not recovering but do want to obviously discuss what's going on for them, right now, I see a lot "I'm about to relapse" "I've gone x days without self harm but it's about to go down the drain" "I feel like I'm gonna slip up", a lot of statements that indicate people who are actively trying to recover or are recovering, but not much from people who aren't recovering, and are struggling themselves... People who aren't recovering though, do have different mindsets than those who are trying to recover - obviously. So, maybe we could get the ball rolling somehow for people to feel more comfortable in being open about what's happening for them and about their self harm, even if they aren't actively recovering? Maybe say what wouldn't be acceptable and glamorizing, and what would be, if people are going to explore the positives of self harming? I'm sorry this is so longggg, but yeh, I do think we could be more lenient and more open with the self harm discussions and in general. I could have just said that, but yeah, I like the long rambles haha.
	In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.