Hi guys! Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I can't multiquote because my iPad is being silly. But I appreciate all your words and the pictures and the PMs they have made me smile even on bad days! You guys are amazing*
So I had my review today and I now have ALL the diagnoses. Like its not even funny, there are like seven and they are so interlinked they may as well be the same thing, so I don't know why they haven't clumped them together. But anyway.*
The doctor said the main issues keeping me in hospital were OCD and the magical/delusional thinking regarding having to do self destructive behaviours to keep others safe. He can't let me go while the behaviours are potentially lethal. Also, the eating (or lack thereof) is a concern as my weight is 'low' (it's not, I look and feel fine)*
So yes. He said I shouldn't be in more than a month( then saw my face and said it could be a couple weeks, lol). I want to leave but I know if I left now I wouldn't come back and would take pills/cut/purge because of the rules the man puts in my head. So I'm only allowed escorted leave. *
It's hard not to lie and say I'm fine to be able to get home to do the behaviours. It's taking a lot of effort for me to be honest, and I told my CC that i was finding it hard so she said shed make sure they knew that in case I have a weak moment. Tere have been episodes of self harm on the ward, and major paranoia/trying to leave/horrible images and flashbacks. Staff have been amazing.*
In positive news, I got my exam results today and I've done really well :s like, averaging a high 2:1/1st. Considering how mad I was at the time of taking them I'm actually really proud of myself.*
Also, I am 10 days free from purging. Its SO hard, because I have my own bathroom and, again, it's taking a lot for me not to do it. I know I will, at some point, but for now I'm proud I have managed this long.*
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