I don't know if they can be called normal.......but they are definitely not desirable. The more intrusive they become, the more that is an indicator that you need to get help.
Suicidal thoughts are a normal for me- but from having a psychology class where the tutor asked how many people considered suicide- it is a private struggle for me. I work very hard to stay safe, and I do not consider anyone's threats of suicide a joke.
As you have indicated that other emotions are bundled up with your feelings of suicide, it does sound like you would benefit from talking to someone. It doesn't have to be about getting a medical diagnosis, but different triggers and traumas are capable of pushing persons to a tipping point.
It is better to ask for help when you still have the presence of mind to say I am having these feelings- but I do not want to have them. Happiness is possible.
So in a nutshell, you are not alone in your feelings- but no feeling suicidal is not okay. You deserve to have support.
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