Hi Hun,
It doesn't sound like that at all.
You snuck out and there are consequences to all actions- you are grounded as is he. Plus if he is in a relationship with someone else, you both are not being realistic or fair to that other person or yourselves.
As cruel as it sounds, allow yourself this mourning period but try to also look for other ways to distract yourself; along with other means and persons to give support. I used to self harm more when my BFF wasn't available. But that is no way to live.
You are responsible for your own health and it is not good to give another person that much control over your moods.
Seriously consider that if he and you want a romantic relationship- then there can't be three of you. Otherwise, just be friends. Physical relationships come with complications and responsibilities- as a friend, he shouldn't want to "cheat on his girlfriend" with you as an example of "liking" you.
You are better than that. And there is nothing stopping him doing the same thing to you if that is how you both value relationships.
Take this time to value yourself and enjoy your own company.
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