Thank you for your kind words.
Pascal - I agree that I need to find the cause of my depression and I working hard in therapy to get it all under control. I wanted to see my friend today in order to give myself a treat but I wasn't able to. I try to exercise quite a lot as that always helps my mood.
Stellata - I have had a lot of stress going on recently and I know there are underlying issues that are being brought up in therapy which are extremely difficult. But sometimes it does seem to get a lot worse for no reason at all! That is the worst part. I like to be in control of myself and try and do a lot to maintain that control so when these emotions overwhelm me I feel utterly lost and at sea. If I knew the issue I'd try and fix it.
I couldn't go because I kept crying. I went to my exercise class after I wrote the first post but when I came back it hadn't lifted my mood significantly and I just sat and cried. I know it was the right decision to make but I am so frustrated that I miss out on my 'fun' evening.
I pushed myself to go to a 2nd exercise class instead which is probably a bit much but I needed to get out the anger and exhaust myself.
It is so hard at the moment.