[a_seething_one]

Well, I would say that this fits into the mental health discussion, as this is affecting my mental health.


I don't think this needs any trigger warnings.... I hope I'm right.



I’m trying to not lose my ****ing mind right now.
Due to our financial situation, we’ve had to move into our mother’s house. It’s this or the street. Literally, we’re the next thing to homeless.
This environment is so beyond stressful. Of all the people in my life, my mother is the one who has ****ed me over, betrayed, manipulated, etc. me the most. And we’re living with her. Her house is an utter ****ing disaster, though by us being there, it’s starting to get some of the filth out of there. Due to the filth, I’ve already gotten a sinus infection, my throat hurts constantly, and my lungs have felt like crap. (I have asthma, and allergies.) I’ve had a switch of my meds….which seem to maybe be helping.

In addition to the physical issues, just mentally it is SOOOO freaking stressful living with her. But it’s this, or the streets. She just ugh. She’s innaproriate, lazy. She so so so needs mental health treatment but won’t get it. Other than meds, which aren’t gonna do jack, without counseling.
I basically have to beg her to help with any chores. It’s her house, *she* should be the one taking care of it, but she doesn’t. Yeah, she has pain, and health problems, but *SO DO I* I am 27 and have nearly 30 medical problems. I kid you not. But I don’t just sit around on my fat arse, and do nothing except get my arse fatter. It would do her good, both physically and mentally to get up and do at least one thing around the house. But I can’t change her, can’t make her accept that reality.
Also, what sucks even more, is that I have no fooking privacy. None of the bedrooms have doors. (they remodeled the house to be handicapped accessible, and they really did a crap job of it. Also, right now, my bro and I’s beds are in the same room. Our moving was totally a crap, hectic job. And so there was not enough space in the room that’s supposed to be his for his bed to go. So it ended up in mine until I was able to get some stuff out of the way. I’m hoping that tonight, or by tomorrow, we can get his bed back there. At least I will have my own space. Somewhat, anyway.
Oh yes, and let’s not forget the dogs. Her dogs are not properly housetrained. The dogs are like 5 years, and like one and a half. So basically, the room that is mine, was covered in there waste. We had to tear everything out, all the flooring that was in there. That was fun, let me tell you. Finally after having been over there like 2 weeks, I’m starting to get them pad trained. They still are peeing on the floor, but at least we’re making some progress. The dogs also bark, which they are finally getting a bit better about. They would bark constantly. At anything. At everything. They are maybe getting a little more used to us, but it’s still an issue. The one dog also destroys anything she can get ahold of. Like my mom’s license, glasses, anything she can get ahold of. My mom just brushes it off as “puppy behavior”. I’m trying to get them some toys and stuff made up, as I realize the behavior is attention seeking and out of boredom. She really shouldn’t have the dogs at all, since she can’t properly care for herself, let alone a helpless animal. But she can’t see that reality. And we very well can’t make her get rid of them, as she is the only reason we’re not on the streets.
Long rant, I know. Thanks for reading if you did. Just needed to get this out.
Yes, of course, I love my mother dearly. And I'm very thankful for her taking us in, but it's also so....difficult for me. It just slaps me back into the past and her betrayals. That's all....