Hi MFM,
I think that you need to tell your therapist how their reaction made you feel. I know that I once confided in my therapist regarding my complete emotional rant at my sib- triggered by seemingly nothing and they told me I was mean. Just because they are your therapist doesn't mean that they have to condone inappropriate behaviour.
It may have felt like she snapped at you, but with something that you do- laugh- you may have felt rather vulnerable confiding that in the therapist and were not really prepared for their response. Again with the flashbacks, you think she is upset- but I think that you need to ask her what she thinks; why she doesn't comment; or when she does- why is it in a manner that grates at you.
Some therapists overdo the active listening- and it may be that you are uncomfortable with silence and assume that she is judgeing you when she isn't. She will not know that her behaviour is bothering you unless you say something.
And remember you need to own it- so "I feel X when you do Y". And not "You always do this, or that" or make me feel X.
I honestly don't doubt that there aren't unprofessional therapists out there or that you are dealing with one- but you also owe it to yourself to suss out whether this is actually one of them.
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