Hey Rachel, I know how you feel. I am facing this now, and have faced it in the past. I guess when you ask the question 'who will you be without self harm/depression', you have to figure it out. And if you don't know, then perhaps it is a good chance for you to start developing some interests and such. When I first started to recover from self harm I had to do this, and got involved in craft and put effort into studying and such, things that made me happy and soon my identity became about things I enjoy. But for you it could be anything. I know that might be scary, too, but the possibilities are endless and so much more enjoyable than a life of cutting yourself and hiding scars.
You say that cutting seems to be an escape for you; can you tell me more about that?
I know it seems like cutting might be an escape from depression but it's actually the opposite. Cutting pushes away all the problems for a moment while you focus your attention on the cut, but once that is done all your problems come back, and then there is more too about the cutting that becomes problematic. You don't learn how to deal with problems and they also get bigger.
Perhaps reaching out for some support will help you work through these issues? You deserve that chance x
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