Originally Posted by
PassedExpectations
often times dealing with one's issues and moving forward are very closely connected to each other....
would you tell someone else what you are telling yourself? (about needing to be punished, being a mistake, etc). try to do your best not to be extremely harsh on your self in ways that you wouldn't be to others. you deserve the same compassion that everyone else does...
My mom had said something to me similar to that a long time ago. I want to. And I try, but it's like because I just can't bring myself to believe it that I can't like act like it. Like I help others with all that I can and I work to make others feel worth and important and loved and cared about and relevant but I just don't feel that way myself. I feel different. And I feel like if I try to tell someone that they will think I am throwing myself a pity party.. and I know I'm not, but the people around me have strong opinions. My brother wouldn't care, my dad would get mad because he's a 'if you want to be happy then do it, don't be lazy about it' kinda guy, and my mom would get sad. I've tried to tell her but it hurts her to know her child feels that way about themselves. I feel so invisible in this toxic environment. And when I wanna speak up the cloud of 'don't say anything because people will think you are weak and simply complaining' hovers over me and rains until I don't wanna say anything anymore.