Hi Pandora,
Dash is right- a basic pros and cons list: currently what do you gain from therapy and what is the benefit of leaving.
As for diagnosis, it is really hard- I have been diagnosed with bipolar for over 10 years, but I have had a psychiatrist say they disagreed with that diagnosis- but their team was responsible for maintaining the regimen that had kept me well for several years already.
Having a diagnosis can both work for and against you in terms of treatment- but your actual needs are unique.
What do you want from therapy? Or what are your goals for life?
For example, I went on meds because talking therapy was not working fast enough to get over my depression and help me with my studies. I never wanted a diagnosis of bipolar or expected to be on meds so long.
Then my goals changed and I wanted to deal with my family, and then my job. Later with a death in my family and a new job. I have stopped my talking therapies, because I can see and feel the improvements my doctors pointed out to me finally. I see my psychiatrist to monitor my meds etc. But I may start back when I have new goal that I need help with.
By the way, my psychiatrist has been with me for that same 10+ years. I have had times where I do not see them as regularly..........but I never quit. I am not going to quit me- and they don't quit me. You stated that you are more aware of what you are doing- that is improvement! Small but soooo important! After this period of time, I still get depressed when layers are peeled back that make me feel more vulnerable- at the same time, I have to be confident that I am getting better. Trusting your therapist/ doctor is fundamental.
You have to push through the feelings of frustration. Give it a timeline like 1-3 months and then re evaluate regularly- set goals with your therapist/ doctor and work on them together. Then if you do not see the improvements you want, plan a new option- changing therapist. But "going it alone" does not mean being unsupported. It is okay to have help.
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