Aunty T, no need to apologise, your question was very valid. I live in Kuwait, a small country in the Middle East. I've contacted the Samaritans bit I wasn't really impressed. I'll look into the Befrienders :)
It's just a real shame. I mean theres a reason why I relapsed, but I'm sure it isnt the sole reason I did it. There are, I'm sure, contributing factors and just overall exam stress that may have had their input. At the end of the day it feels better to relieve all the stress in the only way I know how to, and recovery isn't all that appealing anymore. I know there's the "no one understands me" cliche that we are often stereotyped with and I always thought that it was just another misconception people had but it turns out that I feel that way exactly. I feel misunderstood and generally like a failure, a worthless meaningless failire.
Katie, it's good to hear I'm not alone, thank you for the reassurance. I have yet to figure out what calms me down, hence wanting to go to a therapy summer program. Sadly, the chances of finding one in my circumstances are low.
Thanks to you both for your help.
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