I've had a lot of anxiety, and I can relate to what you say about things feeling intense and feeling people are talking about you when it comes on. It's not quite as intense for me though and it only happens some of the time for me. It used to be much more for me. I still have difficulty going to events where I do not know anyone, thinking I must appear odd and as the outsider. I do relate though to being fearful of being taunted or harrassed, even though there's little cause to think it will happen. When I first was in college I also remember thinking people were talking and laughing about me. Like you, I also used to zone out as a way to get away from it all. It also occasionally turned to outright paranoia. I also started exhibiting some OCD like symptoms during most of my teenage years, although I don't now except in times of stress, and I think it was because focusing on counting, evenness, etc., was a way to get away from it and to take control over the situation.
Lately, what's helped me, is that I had a realization that a lot of my anxiety, especially about social interactions, has to do not with that I care what others think, but with that I've not felt in control of social interactions. I've been told I do things oddly socially, so felt I could do nothing about the situation as I had no idea what I was doing was so odd (it didn't help that people who tended to break through my quiet, asocial barrier were generally a bit judgmental and controlling anyway so probably not the best judges) And as a child I was overly sheltered so not able to remove myself from negative social situations and relationships, as well as had little to observe for what "normal" social situations were.
So lately when I feel anxious about people in any form, I tell myself "you're in control now. You're an adult and you can choose what you want to do". I also think about a time when I was not in control (like I couldn't leave an uncomfortable situation, or I couldn't get away from someone mad at me), and think about how that is different now that I am an independent adult. It surprisingly helps a lot. I just happened to be thinking of it and once I realized it and started practicing it, I was amazed at how much it helped my anxiety. When pretty much nothing else has. Like yesterday, I was putting my bike on the bus, and I apparently accidentally stepped out before the bus completely stopped (I did not notice I did this). The bus driver was very rude at me for it instead of calmly telling me that I should be more careful. I apologized and sat down, and normally that would've bothered me forever and made me incredibly anxious. But I did this and it didn't bother me at all after a few minutes. It doesn't even bother me talking about it now, which is a huge step.
If that is the case for you at all, perhaps it would help you too. I don't know about you, but in my case professionals and other people always tried to tell me my anxiety was due to caring what others thought. But that never helped me get over it, because it wasn't the case. As for what I do, wear, etc., I've never cared about such things. I've always only cared if it resulted in a confrontation or if I didn't know what to do in a social situation. That's when I realized it was more about me feeling in control over myself in social situations than what people thought. And that realization has tremendously decreased my anxiety when I think about the things I mentioned when I notice myself feeling or appearing anxious (I have a terrible habit of picking at my fingers when I am anxious and it will let me know I am anxious even if I don't realize it myself). It's also helped me not be fearful someone will care that what I am doing is not "right". If I'm not making eye contact, well so what if they say something about it? Because now I'm in control over the situation, I can choose to talk about it, walk away, and if they don't get it I'm in control to find other friends or to choose to be by myself.
So hopefully I'm not rambling too much. I don't mean to talk about my situation, it just sounds similar to yours and I thought maybe this might help you. It's just I can really relate to a lesser degree to what you are talking about, and for me that simple realization helped more than any medication or counseling ever did.
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