Hey hun
sorry things are so bad right now could you try joing a book or sports club or something as a way to make new friends?
Do you work or go to college? maybe look at a course you could do- all different ways of meeting people.
It will be hard, but remember its hard for your bf too he loves you and wants you to be happy but hes probably frustrated because he doesnt know what to say to make things better or feels he isnt making you happy. When he said about punishing yourself maybe he meant you arent allowing yourself to accept its not happening now and your free, that you can be happy and do things that you want to do. Maybe he feels that in some way your ex is still controlling you.
Speak to your boyfriend and ask him how he feels? its hard but i now ask my bf how he feels about certain things and then we talk through it and try to find solutions to it. I think your bf loves you lots but doesnt know what to say or do to make things better for you it will hurt him seeing you hurt so much.
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