It definitely does not sound stupid. A lot of people are going through similar and I have also in the past. The thing that makes it hard to let go of cutting is the fact that it is an addiction. It's okay to not be able to stop all of a sudden. Personally, I think it's better to take it slow instead of trying to rush the recovery process. What makes you feel like you need to be punished? Also, I think it is great that you are wanting to stop.
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