[InsufficientFunds]

Hey everyone if you could just give me support/advice I would really appreciate it.
Okay I used to be a member of RYL and about a year ago I stopped coming on. In fact I stopped doing anything beneficial to my recovery. I thought I was ready it was 10 months since I cut and only a couple months since my OD. I did really well for a while, then I went to visit my father which is a completely different story. I slipped up, July 16th I did a few things that went back to my old ways and it was hard to get out of. I almost came back but i managed to fix it myself. I moved to a new country which really hurt me because it meant leaving my friends AGAIN and especially my best friend who was more like a support system/sister to me. It just all got bad. But I settled in my new home and was doing well in school and have amazing new friends who I love to death. So everything was seemingly going well. For a couple months I didn't want to cut or starve or anything, and for a while I couldn't even believe i wanted to in the past, it made me sick to my stomach to think that I did these things.
Then a couple months ago I started to feel myself slipping back into my old ways, i told my friends here because I was to afraid to tell my best friend back in my old home, to her this was all over. They didn't know what to do so we all tried to fix it but it got pushed aside, which is perfectly fine. But then I was just slipping further and further. One day I got really triggered when one of my friends cut themselves in front of me. That night I slipped up. That was March 6th.
Ever since I have been feeling worse and worse and I have no one to talk to about it. Its killing me because I am desperately trying to get better, but I can't support myself. So thats when I came back here. I just need some help getting better for good this time. I'm sick of trying this hard to recover only to be pushed back under. I really am just going to give in one day and that scares me.
Thank you guys so much.
<3