[Aubergine]

I'm having a hard time dealing with memories of being in hospital. Each time I've been in has been a hugely negative experience for me. I guess in some ways I did get better because I was in there, but I so wish something could have been done in the community.

I have flashbacks of being sectioned. The worst one being when they came to my home when I was still living with my parents. It was horrendous. Parents left distraught, police dragging me out, ending up on the HDU for ages.

I feel terrible about it all. It haunts me and I wish it wouldn't. I need to just get over it, but it's so difficult. I'm considering getting some counselling to talk over my experiences, but don't know if it's a good idea. Would it be a waste of time any money? I'm not sure. I still see a CPN from the CMHT, but feel like talking to someone removed from the mental health system would help. It's not that I blame them, as they only did what they thought best, but it still hasn't really helped our relationship.

Anyone else understand? At times it all really gets to me. :(