Hi,
Well my husband read my journal yesterday. He was worried and wanted to understand how I've been feeling.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. When he first told me I was shocked, upset, angry.
I'm upset with him as he knew it existed and it was private. I trusted him not to pry. I don't know what to do now, whether to coninue writing in it or not. I think I should as I use it to release how I'm feeling, it helps to keep me safe. I guess I just can't trust that he won't read it again. He knows when I write in it as I usually write in bed before I go to sleep, especially at the end of a bad day.
I feela bit lost at the moment. Not sure where I'm going or what my next course of action is going t be. I feel quite confused.
The Pastor and his wife have suggested I take antidepressants. Those I know who do or have taken them have agreed and said this would be a good idea for me.
The telephone counselling from EAP have suggested that I may benefit from Counselling but I would need to be ready for it to make any difference. To try and address the underlying cause of my low mood. That antidepressnats would just mask it and the problem would still be there, they would help me cope with the current stresses but is not a solution for the longer term.
I'm scared of doing anything at the moment as I stopped SH over a year ago and I don't want to start again. If I go to counselling I'm scared I will be triggered and start harming.
I dunno, bit of a pointless post but just to summarise my current thoughts.
Liz
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