Hi Merriman,
It sounds like a very difficult situation. It is your choice whether you stop self harming and it's understandable that at this point in time you don't want to stop. It also seems to me that your boyfriend is aware of this and still feels able to cope within the relationship, even though at times it may be triggering for him.
Please know that it is his responsibility to decide how he manages those triggers - not for you. However, that's not to say you can't try and reduce the triggers for him. Do you think it might be worth having a conversation with him and explaining that you are aware that your self harming may be a trigger for him? It might be an idea if you could ask him what would help in these situations, like setting some boundaries. For example, if you do self harm - are you going to keep the wound covered so that he doesn't see it, not that he doesn't know because nobody wants secrets in a relationship but just covering the actual wounds. Also things like keeping the tools out of his sight so he isn't triggered by them. It might help.
Wishing you both the best of luck.
Lottie
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