Originally Posted by
Ballerinabetty
Why do you need to look unwell? It will only make more people look at you in the street and judge you.
The truth is your weight is dangerously low. That is fact, not opinion, not lies. Fact. I know that you would tell me the same thing if I was your weight/bmi.
Your body is not different,every human body works under the same principal.
I hope, often, that you will one day accept healthy normal weight so that you can have a chance at recovery because you deserve to be well.
Because the times I have been a higher or healthier weight I have been abused, raped used and treated badly. Which, admittedly, I probably deserved. But I am selfish and I can't deal with that happening again. So I maintain a lower weight and lose weight to protect myself from them hurting me again. I'm aware it's not fully logical, but for som reason, when I gain, I get hurt.
I also find that looking unwell is a way I can let people know they should stay away.
I'd worry that being a healthy weight would mean I was either hurt again, or other people will be out at risk because of me.
Originally Posted by
poodle
it prob would be better if your father didn't comment on weight at all - is it possible to ask him if he'd do that if you explained it'd be helpful for you? i'm sorry it triggered you.
I would prefer he didn't and I've asked him not to before. It's how he assesses me though, like he checks to see if I look visible different. But apparently, despite having lost since I last saw him, I look perfectly healthy. Which makes me think people are lying to me and messing with the scales. I don't know. It's strange.
I'm dreading Wednesday. I just want to know what will happen.