Hey,
I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. It sounds like you have faced many difficulties in recent weeks. I'm glad you have the support of the crisis team though, I hope they are helping you.
It is scary the idea of going in-patient but sometimes it can be beneficial. There are specialist units for people with BPD, well there are specialist units for most mental health illnesses! Also, sometimes it can be helpful to go to an acute ward for respite - say a week in hospital, just to give yourself a break from the world and having to keep yourself safe etc.
It may help you to check out the BPD thread if you felt up to it.
xx
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