You said: "I just feel as if I don't and shouldn't care, as long as I get what I want. I know it's a really selfish way of thinking and stuff but I just can't help thinking that if I were to do it, it would make me feel better, even though it's probably going to be temporary.
I feel like just telling him that it's over unless something happens which seems a bit harsh really because deep down, I know I love him which sounds so hypocritical."
If you've got to the stage where you feel like giving ultimatums, then perhaps your desire to go out and get some is more like an attempt to sabotage the relationship so you can break up. Equally he may be looking for an out hence the avoidance. Perhaps both of you are just not working out and he's trying to force the issue by cutting off from you.
HOWEVER, important questions to ask yourself before breaking up/sleeping around (though I imagine one would create the other either way):
1. Have you actually got someone else in mind?
2. Has he considered talking to a doctor about his loss of sexual desire? - there could be an underlying medical problem. He could be at risk of heart disease or there could be a problem with any meds he is on now.
3. If you are asking your real-life friends for advice, that's quite a public declaration of unhappiness. Is HE aware just how unhappy you are? what makes you think he sees it as a joke?
4. If you did have a fling, are you expecting/hoping to maintain your current sexless relationship afterwards?
just some food for thought,
xxx sv
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