Can I ask is she a psychiatrist or psychologist? I'm wondering if the opposite would offer a different outlook? I can relate to what you are experiencing, but have learned throughout the years that unless you want to change it isn't going to happen, and it has to be more than just "wanting to change thoughts, behaviours have follow too".
You mentioned you don't have many appointments is there an option of changing this? Also if you find that there are barriers to accessing these programs, can you talk about these with your psych and work out other options?
If you stopped seeing her what would be your plan for yourself and your work towards recovery (in what form that looks like for you), what sort of support network would you have in your life? You mentioned that people would be on your back, are they people that you could talk about what is happening and explain that you don't think this is working.
I think treatment and intervention needs to be integrated into recovery pathways when it's warranted, and sometimes it just might not be the right time. I started treatment because I was bad too by my parents and I didn't talk for ages, but my therapist stuck with me, and I learned how to trust her and eventually realised that it was a chance for change, and it took a lot of work but it was an opportunity to start taking control back and that felt amazing. Everyone is different, I guess it's not a decision to make lightly, just think about the pros and cons, and perhaps integrate others viewpoints into your consideration as well. Best of luck.
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