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Freedom Fighter · 13-02-2012, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isoverity

I've seen good and bad and didn't find outcomes hard to predict. Until people find themselves and their roots they tend to appoint other people above them and look for them to provide good feelings, reflections etc. If they get those they like it - then they can start to resent it because they lowered themselves down to put someone else "up" - or - the appointed savior gets tired of being the center of someone's identity. That's how false love turns into real hate.

I've found just being friends with RYL people can be sketchy because as they get better (or seem to get better) they can want to avoid anything/anyone that reminded them of bad times. I've met people here and told them not to identify with their depression, bad habits etc and that they will grow past them - just to indeed have them grow past their depression/ bad habits and then have them disappear (to be told later they have given up their "depression friends").

Moral of the story is be careful of relationships where people are still in the midst of issues. Of course that applies to lots of people and not just RYLers. The specific RYL problem is people can want to escape their past and resent anyone who knows more of it than others because of what they aired out in a forum. They cant want to run from other people as a way of running from themselves. That's not always bad either depending on people/situation

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirrelspit

there are RYLers that have got married and/or had children together.

I have seen ones that have been very very successful and ones that have been two people making themselves iller and wallowing in their shared pain.

I think itndepends entirely on the two individuals ability to see each other as people rather than as emotional crutches. i hope that makes sense.

Both of these. I can list lots of RYL 'ships that were horrid but I can think of several that went well. It all depends on the person.

13-02-2012, 05:07 AM	#16
Freedom Fighter Join Date: May 2008	Quote: Originally Posted by Isoverity I've seen good and bad and didn't find outcomes hard to predict. Until people find themselves and their roots they tend to appoint other people above them and look for them to provide good feelings, reflections etc. If they get those they like it - then they can start to resent it because they lowered themselves down to put someone else "up" - or - the appointed savior gets tired of being the center of someone's identity. That's how false love turns into real hate. I've found just being friends with RYL people can be sketchy because as they get better (or seem to get better) they can want to avoid anything/anyone that reminded them of bad times. I've met people here and told them not to identify with their depression, bad habits etc and that they will grow past them - just to indeed have them grow past their depression/ bad habits and then have them disappear (to be told later they have given up their "depression friends"). Moral of the story is be careful of relationships where people are still in the midst of issues. Of course that applies to lots of people and not just RYLers. The specific RYL problem is people can want to escape their past and resent anyone who knows more of it than others because of what they aired out in a forum. They cant want to run from other people as a way of running from themselves. That's not always bad either depending on people/situation Quote: Originally Posted by squirrelspit there are RYLers that have got married and/or had children together. I have seen ones that have been very very successful and ones that have been two people making themselves iller and wallowing in their shared pain. I think itndepends entirely on the two individuals ability to see each other as people rather than as emotional crutches. i hope that makes sense. Both of these. I can list lots of RYL 'ships that were horrid but I can think of several that went well. It all depends on the person.
Freedom Fighter Join Date: May 2008	Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her; If you can bounce high, bounce for her too, Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover, I must have you!" Thomas Parke D’Invilliers