Hi Bluegeranium,
In weighing my answer, I guess it would be yes. Normal to have things so out of control that it scares you.......I am glad that you tried to access services at your school, but concerned that "they were full" is where it was left. Did they offer to refer you on?
Usually some form of health services- GP, doctor, psychiatrist is attached to a school; and some sort of policy for students who are in crisis. Is your husband supportive and acceptive of you looking for help? If you are unable to get referred on to any services, you may need to seek private intervention.
I know your feelings quite familiarly. For me it was a turning point in my life, where I had to seek help without family support. I think having the initial intervention is important and school counselling would not be exactly what you are looking for. I went to the Uni health service, was referred to a MH outpatient team and put under a psychiatrist who managed my care. Counselling was a personal addition to my care because talking therapies were not offered by the MH team.
Maybe going to your personal GP may be your best start. Also look for any community based MH services like drop in centres or charities. Don't give up. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, and looking for help is the second. You deserve to be happy. Keep reaching out and get your husband's help in the search. Don't be ashamed of family history as this is used by doctor's to assist in making any diagnosis.
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