I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when I was 16 (and I had it from the age of about 4). I pretty much only spoke to my parents and close relatives up until that age and had no friends.
I never thought I'd 'grow out' of it either and I'm not really sure how I did...However, when I started sixth form college I 'overcame' SM quite rapidly and could speak in many situations. This may partly be due to the anti-depressants I started taking (Citalopram); I listened to some hypnotherapy CDs; and I also had a support worker who I met with at school and gradually became able to speak to.
I'm 22 now and I'm physically able to speak in many everyday situations, but I still have some problems. People can tell I'm very anxious and socially awkward and I have very low self esteem. I even feel self conscious about communicating online which is why I rarely post. I'm not sure if its possible to completely 'grow out' of SM.
Have you tried taking any medication? I think Citalopram really helped take the edge off my anxiety and depression. I listen to an 'Instant Confidence' hypnotherapy CD by Paul Mckenna which you can probably find somewhere online for free. If you can afford seeing a hypnotherapist then that might help. I never found psychologists useful because I couldn't speak to them and they're quick to jump to bizarre conclusions. Have you ever had any sort of therapy or support workers?
In theory, if you can do voluntary work then you should be allowed to do paid work. However, I've also found this doesn't really work in practice...but you could just claim benefits and carry on volunteering. That's what I'll do if I never get a job. Or set up a business that doesn't involve too much direct communication with people.
Hope this helps in some way. Good luck
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