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Possibly bipolar?
I have had my suspicions for a while but I don't know what to do about it.
Within the DSM-IV categorisation criteria I hit all at A-E points and 7/9 and 6/7 respectively on the depression and mania sections. I have had these symptoms for years and have dealt with them in various ways including self harm. Most of the time my daily function is only affected by the lows (unable to get out of bed to attend work, loss of interest and motivation, stop eating etc) so I usually just sleep through my lows which my work and education choices have enabled me to do. However I love my highs, I love how productive I become and how much energy I have. Even though my thoughts race and I am easily distracted and feel like I am going crazy its a good crazy and an amazing feeling.
My problem lies with the fact that I am very flat emotionally even when stable, in my lows I get the worthless/hopeless/low self-esteem thoughts but I don't get the emotions associated with these. My fear is that they will attempt to medicate the lows and as empty moods is a common side effect of many anti-depressants I will lose my highs. My highs are the only time I ever feel good and it is as close to happy as I am going to get. I guess I am scared that if they are gone I will lose any motivation I have in life, and I can see myself becoming incredibly depressed and possibly suicidal (as I have a history with suicidal thoughts as an adolescent, not that anyone knows though).
However I am going to qualify as a nurse in 6 months and I am concerned and rather uncomfortable applying for jobs when I know that there are days where I can't function enough to go to work. I feel I need to be honest with them but I also feel I cannot do that without a diagnosis.
I guess I am just looking for some honest advice and opinions from any other people who suffer from Bipolar, does medication and therapy really help?
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