Honestly, the roots behind an eating disorder are very very similar to the roots behind mental illness. You have issues with mental health and self injury, her eating disorder is just her form of SI. The same things you want to hear or have someone do for you are likely very similar to the things she wants from others, or things that would be helpful to her. I think you are doing a great job by being concerned and by being there for her. I can understand her preferring to talk to a friend than a professional, but also urge her to be just as open with her therapist, since they will be the ones who understand what would help her the most. If she doesn't feel comfortable with her therapist, she can always get a new one. The best thing you can do is listen to her feelings, her triggers, just let her talk. Even if you feel helpless doing just that, it does wonders for someone struggling to just be able to get their emotions out in a healthy way.
You sound like a fantastic friend and you guys are lucky to have each other. <3 Just continue to be there for her. Also, don't neglect your own feelings. If you feel too overwhelmed, you won't be able to help anybody. If you don't have a therapist as well, I would strongly recommend one.
I hope you and your friend are doing well and I wish you both luck in your recoveries. Hugs :)
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