I don't understand how people can be so 'pained' by their own willful actions that they need to use a different, rather vague word to describe it. You know what you are doing to yourself, you have the choice not to and if you feel that badly about it then why continue doing it? It's totally counter-productive and illogical.
As for defining yourself by using the word cutter, you only define yourself my that if you choose to. I'm a fencer, but that's not all I am. It's a part of my current personality, but I'm not defined by it.
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