Maybe you're right Libz. I'll try to print off that post and show it to them. I'm kind of scared but I know I need to do it to get better in any way, shape or form.
I just feel so damn alone and I'm sick of it. There are certain people who said they'd be with me through all of this - who'd stand by me as long as I got help. Now, I'm stuck in the middle of this so called 'help' and they're no where to be seen.
I know it's ultimately down to me so I shouldn't be complaining that they're not helping me...but none of this is worth it if they're not around for me to do it for. I'm not doing this for me...I'm really not. It's all for them. I'm getting better for them. I'm getting better so I can work and I'll have money again. So I'm not letting work down. I'm getting better so I don't have to worry them. So they don't have to keep visiting me in hospital. I'm just losing the will to actually better myself - Ad's gone now and I'm not sure how, if ever, we'll be able to work it out. None of my friends in real life care about me. None of them want to know me now...maybe I've finally pushed them too far. Maybe my most recent attempt has finally severed all ties. Maybe it's gone too far now. I don't know.
I feel like I'm stuck and nothing's gonna change any more.
x Katie x
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