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Vertebrae · 20-12-2011, 05:22 AM

I keep falling asleep when I get in!

Recently, the past few weeks, have been really rough and emotionally I just feel terrible. I feel like I did when I tried to kill myself, but I know I dont want to do that now. I've tried to make this thread so many times, but it doesnt seem worth the effort and I cant find the words.

I think nervous tension is stressing you. This could explain why you don't feel able to explain how you feel.Also feeling overwhelmed could be leading to the feelings of worthlessness and the feeling of pointlessness.

Being up and down on your medication will definitely have an adverse affect on your state of mind, also so will having the wrong dose and the wrong kind. Do you find that you don't take it because it seems pointless, because it makes you worse or because you just forget?

Mom is very sick physically and I cant tell her anything because it upsets her and makes her worse. I love my Dad and brother, but because of their own issues the bring a lot of stress in my life.

I think the worries for your family must be very distressing but you feel guilty having needs, when you look to your parents for support and they are unable to help you must feel helpless. Remember you are worth their time and they would not want you to feel hopeless - with any luck, things are not as bad as they seem, is it possible to talk to your mum about how she is, and explain how you would like to help; I think you need to act on your fears - not let them control you. Don't let things build up on you till you feel hopeless.

Being home makes me emotional and I feel like I can't hide this from them.

This can be very upsetting - I know exactly what you mean. I used to suffer very badly and always feel guilty for being what I considered 'really messed up' and would literally sit on the sofa shaking and crying. But trying hard not to show anything too much. My mum isn't the best at emotions, and she didn't have a clue what to do. I know it sounds very hard but - you have to reach into yourself and say.. 'How do I want to feel, how do I get there' and work on it .. it is a hard hard road, and sometimes more than a person can go alone, this is why therapy and counselling are widely used, however even with therapy and counselling it can be frightening and feel overwhelming.

Low self esteem can make it doubly hard so try very hard to use kind, friendly words to describe yourself in your head, and remember even if you have setbacks you are not a failure, and you are always worth someones time even if you just say to your mum or dad, can I have a hug?

I do hope this helps and makes some sort of sense, it really can be hard feeling rubbish when you also feel worthless, but your family do love you and you are just as important as them.

Take care sweetie xx

Vert

20-12-2011, 05:22 AM	#5
Vertebrae As we think, so we are. Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: London I am currently:	I keep falling asleep when I get in! Recently, the past few weeks, have been really rough and emotionally I just feel terrible. I feel like I did when I tried to kill myself, but I know I dont want to do that now. I've tried to make this thread so many times, but it doesnt seem worth the effort and I cant find the words. I think nervous tension is stressing you. This could explain why you don't feel able to explain how you feel.Also feeling overwhelmed could be leading to the feelings of worthlessness and the feeling of pointlessness. Being up and down on your medication will definitely have an adverse affect on your state of mind, also so will having the wrong dose and the wrong kind. Do you find that you don't take it because it seems pointless, because it makes you worse or because you just forget? Mom is very sick physically and I cant tell her anything because it upsets her and makes her worse. I love my Dad and brother, but because of their own issues the bring a lot of stress in my life. I think the worries for your family must be very distressing but you feel guilty having needs, when you look to your parents for support and they are unable to help you must feel helpless. Remember you are worth their time and they would not want you to feel hopeless - with any luck, things are not as bad as they seem, is it possible to talk to your mum about how she is, and explain how you would like to help; I think you need to act on your fears - not let them control you. Don't let things build up on you till you feel hopeless. Being home makes me emotional and I feel like I can't hide this from them. This can be very upsetting - I know exactly what you mean. I used to suffer very badly and always feel guilty for being what I considered 'really messed up' and would literally sit on the sofa shaking and crying. But trying hard not to show anything too much. My mum isn't the best at emotions, and she didn't have a clue what to do. I know it sounds very hard but - you have to reach into yourself and say.. 'How do I want to feel, how do I get there' and work on it .. it is a hard hard road, and sometimes more than a person can go alone, this is why therapy and counselling are widely used, however even with therapy and counselling it can be frightening and feel overwhelming. Low self esteem can make it doubly hard so try very hard to use kind, friendly words to describe yourself in your head, and remember even if you have setbacks you are not a failure, and you are always worth someones time even if you just say to your mum or dad, can I have a hug? I do hope this helps and makes some sort of sense, it really can be hard feeling rubbish when you also feel worthless, but your family do love you and you are just as important as them. Take care sweetie xx Vert