I think you subconsciously want us to say ''no, no, you're not selfish and you shouldn't hate yourself'' I don't think that would make a difference.
You sound like you've given up and want to be left to die.
I don't know what on earth is the best thing to say to you except that I don't want you to be a statistic. Another anorexic death.
Plus you have more friends than I could ever dream of having. How about looking at the GOOD points and things in your life. Everything you have to lose. You are lucky. At least you are getting help. Well being offered it and blowing it. What good will that do you? And why on earth blow your chances of help. In the UK you have to be almost dead before you're even considered for support.
Nothing I have said is to guilt trip you. It does not tend to work for most people anyway. You could still have a future, a happy one but the ball is in your court, your destiny in your hands.
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