[Buttercup.]

Things are not good :( I got kicked out of IOP because I kept having panic attacks and 'fleeing.' Also...last night was BAD.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering

After my last time 'fleeing' IOP, I decided to overdose. My vitals and labs were horrendous. I was in the ER for quite a bit last night, but I managed to get them to believe that the whole thing was an accident. So, once my potassium and selenium levels stopped decreasing and my o2 sat was back up without the oxygen, the doctor let me home. I am still feeling the effects from the OD. Pretty badly.

Didn't really want to share that because I'm ashamed, but I might as well be honest.

My doctor doesn't know what to do with me anymore. I don't know what to do with me. She is calling my ED center to discuss my options I guess. It's just hard when I've given up on myself. I'm basically just a ball of self destruction at this point. And I am selfish and hate myself for it.