Thank you you guys, I am glad, despite perfect opportunity to, that I did not binge today. I even had vouchers for food as well.
I feel more glad now because I come on here and realise people are pleased I've done what I have and I can still say, today I worked my butt off and didn't screw up.
I gave the vouchers to my other half, told her I was feeling like I wanted to sabotage myself because I STILL haven't lost the binge weight [head was saying you'll always be fat so don't bother trying, its a pathetic façade to the truth] and so she made me promise to her I wouldn't. I walked away from her, into town and told myself I was going to push forward and leave lunch inside me and not eat more.
I am really not feeling good because I have gained weight, it cant be binge weight still, some of it must be real and that feels like swallowing knives. I have to be back in control. I need to maintain until Christmas. For my sanity I need to maintain before Christmas so I can even consider trying to enjoy it.
I don't think I am going to count how long I am binge free this time. That's the plan right now. I think it'll be counter productive.
I hope I can continue to make you'all proud. Its worth it to feel non guilty reading back the compliments knowing I still deserve them [haven't binged].
Love to you all, if food loving/obsessed me can do this, anyone can! I am sure!
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